The True Source of my Sickness: Part 1

During the first several months of this pregnancy I was very sick. I had morning sickness (which actually should be called “pregnancy induced nausea” or something. It is no respecter of time. It was more of an “all day every day sickness”). Because of this and other issues I will get into in a minute, I ate horribly. If I ate something, it was processed and most likely full of gluten. Or sugar. Or gluten and sugar. Great idea, right?!

At 8 weeks, I woke up with severe pain in my lower right abdomen. We went to the ER to make sure it wasn’t anything serious. (It was bad pain. Like, rolling around on the floor, crying, I think I’m gonna die pain). Just before we left, the pain slowly started to ease off. To be safe we left for the ER even though I was feeling better. We found out that it was actually an inflamed appendix.

I was admitted into the hospital (but only because the nurse lied to me). My white blood cell count was very high. The next morning, an MRI confirmed that it was my appendix. But the good news is that it was only slightly inflamed and at no risk of immediate rupture. By this point, I hadn’t felt any pain in over 6 hours. Long story short, I left against medical advise and didn’t have the surgery.

While I was waiting, I started doing some soul searching and researching.

Since I have started learning about Young Living Essential Oils, I have also learned that many diseases and sicknesses are linked to unresolved emotional problems.Out of curiosity, I looked up what the underlying emotional problems are for appendicitis. “Fear of Life.”

If you read my post several months of ago about “What Scares You,” this would be very fitting, being that I admitted in that post that I was terrified of having another baby. The ironic thing, is that I was already pregnant when I wrote that post, but didn’t know it.

This part is difficult to articulate. when dealing with emotional junk, I often go into stream of conscious writing, where I jump back and forth and all over the place as I analysis myself.

Gluten is an inflammatory. A major inflammatory. Moreover, I am sensitive to it. I very strongly believe that is what inflamed my appendix. But why was I eating it? I know better! I want better! What’s the deal?!?

Food is a social thing as well as our source for nourishment. As much as you try to avoid it, if you eat differently than people, they act funny about it. Even if they don’t mean to, they do. Our society comes together over food. Anytime you’re socializing food is involved. Someone comes over to your house, it is rude to not at least offer them something to drink. Want to hang out with friends? Let’s have dinner. Eating meals together brings you closer together. The best conversations in families usually happen at the dinner table. We all are sharing the same food, the same nourishment, and the same life force. It’s just how things are.

Well, outside of online friends and Facebook support groups, no one really eats the same way I do. This was especially true when I was on GAPS. People act funny when you say you can’t have something… especially when they are making it for you. After I came home from visiting family in Wisconsin last summer, I stopped eating GAPS. It was so emotionally exhausting eating differently than everyone else there. When I came home, I faced the same dilemma because my husband doesn’t share the same views and concerns regarding nutrition. Ruby was very sick and went into the hospital. We were extremely busy running a fireworks tent and I wasn’t ever home long enough to cook meals for us to take with us. So we ate out. There goes GAPS, gluten-free, and all. During that period, it was so refreshing to share meals and emotional connections with those I love, friends, acquaintances, church family, and people other than my one-year-old.

I started having bad back pain again. So I came off the gluten but resumed everything else. Back pain was gone. But now I was back to feeling isolated. Even more than before because the taste of unrestrained fellowship was still fresh in my mouth.

I toughed through it all anyway, simply because I can’t live my life in constant pain.

But then the test came back positive…



2 responses

  1. Pingback: The True Source of my Sickness: Part 2 | Nursing Ruby Sue

  2. Thank you for sharing these words, I appreciated you showing yourself in your vulnerability. I can easily empathize. Unfortunately our society runs on values that are very damaging (including what we call food – just look in a super market!!!). It can be excruciating for individuals who are more susceptible or sensitive. The bright side is that with awareness and education we can become actors and builders of a new paradigm… and create the missing link, renewed communities centered on the essential values we deeply long. As mothers we have an immense responsibility and actually power! Go mom go! You’re on a beautiful path, I am proud of you!

    Note that I fond your blog as I was looking for “underlying emotional issues associated with appendicitis” as my 25 yo son experienced a right belly pain that kept him awake one night. The Dr’s visit beside confirming my suspicion was worthless, but we came up with an array of solutions, including the advice to take time to meditate on the message your body is sending you. Happy to say he is well today and will probably act to give himself better care!

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