Today Ruby had another appointment in Gainesville. The plan was to reexamine her and possibly re-clip the tongue and also clip the upper lip frenulum.
This time there was a team of three people waiting for us. Dr. Sullivan (the tongue clipper), Mary (IBCLC), and Ellaine (Occupational therapist). After the three of them watched Ruby attempt to nurse, drink from a bottle, and examined her mouth thoroughly, they all concluded that no more clipping was needed. There is a little bit of thick skin left, but they didn’t think much benefit would be gained by clipping it, given the pain and trauma she would suffer in the process of clipping.
Their occupational therapist said that I should continue to do the Beckman exercises with her, focusing primarily on her lips. She also advised that Ruby is at the age where she needs more sensory stimulus. She needs to be bounced, played with, encouraged to make faces and sounds, etc. She is six months old and craves this stimulus. We really haven’t been providing it because she doesn’t look six months old. It’s something I haven’t even thought about. They speculated that her nursing strike may be due to a strong desire for more stimulus.
They basically told me in a very gentle way that there wasn’t anything more they could do for me at this time. Some babies go back to the breast and some don’t. It’s possible this could just be a stage we have to get through.
But I could see the look in their eyes.
I walked to the car as quickly as my legs could carry me, trying at naught to swallow the throat lump. Caught in a turmoil of emotion and confusion I began my drive home.
I had a weak moment. I was hungry and only had a little more than a dollar of cash on me. Wendy’s dollar menu beckoned me (I wasn’t as bad as I COULD have been. I ordered a crispy chicken sandwich. Much better than the double bacon cheeseburger I almost ordered).
On the way home I began thinking about a bible story I’ve heard preached several times.
Jesus commanded his disciples to get into the boat and sail to the other side of the sea. On the way there, they encountered at storm and began to panic. I’ve heard many preachers claim that if they really believed and trusted God they would have remained calm. Jesus said they were to go to the other side, so they had been promised they would make it through.
So I determined to not allow myself to fret over a negative report. I received a promise from God and I choose to rest peacefully in the storm, knowing I will make it to the other side. Learning to trust God and not fret is a lesson learned only by sailing through a storm with a promise.