I talked to a good friend of mine today about all of this. She brought up some very good points that I haven’t considered. She also talked from her own personal experiences.
She was young and didn’t have a great support system for nursing her first child. After much bad advise and a difficult start she wasn’t able to nurse and lost her supply. When her baby was three months old she gave up and returned to work. She said that she associated nursing with bonding. Since she couldn’t nurse she figured she couldn’t bond. She didn’t look for another way to bond. Not because she is a bad mother, but because she didn’t know any better.
She warned me that bonding and have a good relationship with my child is more important than actually nursing. If nursing causes friction and frustration in our relationship as mother-child, then it’s time to re-evaluate things.
And she’s right. So I’m going to continue with my plan. But if the German nipple shield doesn’t work, we will move on with our lives. To be perfectly honest, although I am holding out hope and giving it one last try, I think I know in my heart that it’s not going to work. I’m trying to prepare myself for that.
There are times that I’m ok with the thought of moving on. But then at other times its very hard to process it emotionally.